The Stuff

The Giants are in the Superbowl, and Carl is a happy man. New episodes of Aqua Teen Super Bowel start tonight. I’m happy about the Giants, because it means I can look forward to some tasty eats at Superbowl parties.

By the way folks, the Valentine’s Day candy is in the stores, so go out and get it while it’s fresh.

Target has plenty of candy, as well as wacky ads like this one:

That’s some “target”.

Photo taken by Bennett 4 Senate as seen on Flickr.

OK, so there’s people out there taking old Garfield comics, turning them into live action and then mixing them with Garfield-themed music videos. There are 28 of these videos and you will spend an hour watching them. They’re so insane.

Two pints of Yuengling Porter (link) + one episode of Top Gear + Zig Ziglar = a night full of dreams about women and cars.

The story starts at home with a dinner of chicken tenders, an apple and two pints of Porter. After dinner entertainment was found on BBC America: the episode of TopGear (the greatest non-fiction television program ever — I’ll explain this at another time) where Clarkson showcases the Jaguar XKR. Then to the computer room to load Zig Ziglar on my iPod (and download Knoppix and Gnoppix, answer emails). Zig Ziglar is a motivational speaker (goals, etc). I dream when I drink, the XKR is undoubtedly the most beautiful automobile in its price range, and Zig’s telling me to set goals, which brings me to my dreams…

In my dream I bought a XKR silver convertible, and presented it to every woman I’ve ever loved (key: not lusted for — that would be a very long dream). Without fail, each woman questioned my rational for buying such an expensive vehicle ($95K before haggling), I lied to each of them about the price (said it was in the mid $30K range), but most importantly each woman absolutely loved the car — each woman complimented the car on its beauty and gleefully went for a ride. There, presented for you, a dream by a man with fully-formed frontal lobes; a dream that presents the true purpose of dreaming: to exercise mind through scenarios based on your perceived needs and desires. The mammalian/hunter brain running scenarios and scripts at night; testing, predicting and preparing your mind for the real life.

I would love to possess a Jaguar XKR, and it wouldn’t be a bad thing if women loved me for it.

and “This is it”: (link to video)

Top Gear - The Jaguar XKR - Click here for more blooper videos

Star Wars & A-Team Mashup (YouTube).

And Yea! Attack of the Show!

Thanks to the Multimedia Darling for sending me the link to the USAVICH site. USAVICH is/are 3D animated cartoon shorts featuring two bunnies, a Pacman Toad (yes!) and a bird with human lips. The weird part (well the lips are weird enough) is the toons feature the bunnies in prison or on the run from the police. The animation is unique; colors are soft and the 3D animation is smooth and never crappy (like the Nasonex bee). The humor is in line with 50’s Looney Toons or MGM (think Droopy Dog) cartoons.

Watch every USAVICH cartoon!

2001 — great movie I can watch again and again, but by no means should it be spared parody or post-modern remixing.

Here’s 2001 in 5 Seconds (YouTube):

And Hello, Dave (YouTube):

I found this to be disturbing.

Feed the Pig (as in “feed your piggy bank” not “feed yourself delicious Hot Pockets and gooey fudge”) is a useful website that gives you advice on saving money and reducing debt: two areas most Americans need advice on. Check it out!

And by the way, these are my tips for saving money:

1. Attach a sail to your Lincoln Navigator to save on fuel costs
2. 7 DVD players are really too much for one mini-van: 4 is more than enough
3. If you eat 5 Snickers bars and a Cola ($6.00) instead of going out for lunch ($10.00+) every day, just think of all the money you’ll save by the end of the year
4. 26 new Alienware PCs is more than enough for a Beowulf cluster — no need to finance number 27, no matter how cool the red neon appointments are
5. In the 80s coffee cost 10 cents, now it costs $4.50. Limit your consumption to 5 cups a day. (Originally I was going to say “Save money by not tipping” but people who make minimum wage are usually humorless and violent and I didn’t want my home to be firebombed)
6. A good prostitute costs any where from $200 and up. Why not date someone and get the sex for the price of a monthly trip to the Olive Garden?

It warms the cockles of my heart to think that the leaders of my town saw fit to include the woman who sells hot dogs on the roadside amongst the many restaurants in town, #40: Mrs. Rooney’s Hot Dog Stand. I hope Gordon Ramsey visits her.