The Stuff

In terms of entertainment, it’s hard to go wrong with a bikini-clad woman killing zombies with a Samurai sword.

More info and pictures here. You want to see the pictures.

And the movie’s web site.

part 1, part 2, part 3. Sorry, “embedding was disabled” so you have to click.

Immensely funny British comedy.

Thanks to Mr. Gav!

This is nuts! And from 1900’s, so it’s proof we’ve always been a crazy nation. Dogs dressed up in clothes. Bad, awful dogs.

Ready to rescue America from a recession? Ready to stimulatize the economy?

How will you spend your free $600 from the government (borrowed from China)?

Here’s how I think you should spend yours:

1. Use it to lower your massive and embarrassing credit card debt — sort of like throwing a pickle into a volcano. Wait…
2. 6 weeks of gas for your galaxy-sized vehicle.
3. Use it to increase China’s ability to lend us money by giving it back to them via the money laundering organization known as Wal*Mart.
4. Spend it on your kids — they’re going to have to pay for it eventually anyway, so it’s like they spent it themselves with your loving guidance. By the way, your kids would like 2 Wiis, an iPhone or $600 dollars worth of Slurpees and M&Ms.
5. Havin’ a trunk full of coke and a back seat full of hookers. Sorry — that’s the best thing about being a cop, and not how you should spend $600. Sorry — I stole that from Reno 911.
6. Go totally ape-shit on a shopping spree at Best Buy — over-spend by $3000 — have even more debt than before (but a sweet TV and laptop to show for it).
7. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas (except for herpes). Your $600 will stay in Vegas and/or Valtrex.
8. Get a tattoo of Taz shooting tribal lightning bolts. Hey, some classics never go out of style.
9. Buy a month worth of food! Wait… that isn’t funny because that’s how much food really costs… Next…
10. Spend it on decorations for the big party to celebrate the rapture, which according to our calculations will happen early 2009.

I’ve spent a lot of time on hold this month listening to bad on hold music. Every time I hear a saxophone, good or bad, I think of this:

Metalocalypse will be back on May 18th, at the decent hour of 12am midnight (on Adult Swim, Cartoon Network of course).

The Venture Bros. kicks off on June 1st at 11:30pm, making for what will then be 45 minutes of the finest television available to eyeballs and earguts.

Adult Swim schedule.

Here’s a fun game where you get to determine what country your sexuality best exemplifies. I had a few laughs filling it out.

The Maria Bamford show has drawn to a close (or so the site says). Looks like she’s raised enough money and courage to leave her parents attic in Minnesota and head back to LA. Throughout the show Maria explored the depths of her own metal illness and psychoses through comic skits about her relationships with various family, friends and other folks she encounters (she plays all the characters). Aside from making me laugh, the show helped me put my own moments of sadness into perspective, and well as achieve sympathy for my friends who struggle with legitimate psychiatric issues.

Dark was that best episode. Watch them all if you dare (or just skip to the best one):

I almost buy this car every week.

At least once a week I start shopping for a new car. My Honda Accord’s maintenance bills are up around the $2000 a year mark, and at that point its probably time for a new one.

My 4 considerations in buying a car: 1) cost, 2) does it look cool (mid life Chrysler), 3) the gas milage, and 4) will I fit in it.

So far I’ve considered the BMW Z4 (over $40K), the new Honda Accord (reliable, but milage isn’t awesome and how about those maintenance bills), the new Nissan Altima (fast, high-marks, decent milage, but my last Altima fell apart after 3 years), the Mitsubishi Spider (fast, pretty), the Hybrid Civic (small interior), the Prius (small interior, no power) and the Ford Escape Hybrid (small interior, believe it or not).

So why the Saturn?

1. It’s American. Maybe it’s time to give American car makers a little support. My Honda was made in America, but the money went back to Japan.
2. The milage is okay: 25-28 highway depending on what website you read.
3. I looks incredible — to me at least.
4. No space for baby seats.
5. It isn’t that expensive. Between $24-28 K, plus I get a 10% discount through work (I finally found a perk for where I work).

What do you think?

I Am Baby Cakes might be the worst animated cartoon ever created, but it’s funny, and insane, and that counts for a lot. The show is moving to Adult Swim renamed as China Illinois.

Here’s the web series, make sure you watch episode 2 at least:

This is a commercial for something:

Of course it reminds me of the Taco Bell Chihuahua, whose hypnotic charms caused me to go from a reasonably fit 235 pounds (I’m a big boy) to 283 in a few years.

I say bring the Taco Bell Chihuahua back along with Spuds McKenzie. In fact, my new policy is not to consume any name brand food or drink unless it is marketed using a funny dog.

Time for some Powdered toast then: