Last week I went on vacation. How did I do it? I drove. I drove over 1300 miles, and got 33 miles to the gallon in my 7 year old Honda Accord. The total gas bill came to $160, which was about $1000 cheaper than what it would have cost to fly (I just priced the trip on an airlines site). Sure, it cost me about 22 hours of drive time, but considering that the last time I flew I waited almost 12 hours in the airport, I think I made the right choice. Plus, you can’t see wacky crap like this from a plane.
So what’s my point(s):
There’s no need to stay home on your vacation. That’s bullshit. Staycations are bullshit (unless something totally awesome is happening in your area like a cicada emergence).
Driving is cheaper than flying (unless you drive a real gas pig).
Yes, gas prices are crazy high, but are you going to wait until it’s $10 per gallon (and you know that’s where it’s headed) and then regret never having driven across country? Don’t complain — you should have seen this coming 8 years ago and invested in Exxon, gold and bullets (the currency of the end times).
Global warming is real, but it doesn’t come from cars or Chinese factories, it comes from the fact that distance between the sun and the earth is getting smaller, and it’s a lot less scary for Al Gore to say “it’s Hummers that dos it” than “in 347 years the earth is going to fall into the sun”.
Time to take my sleeping pills! Goodnight!
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There were others, but MySpace seems to destroy these things from time to time. Good Life seems to be the favorite. If you haven’t heard it, here’s the MP3. Remember the song is about the Opportunity and Spirit Mars Rovers, and their happiness with their job and lifestyle.
Week 1: Read KLF’s book The Manual, rebuild my Mac for recording, check equipment and cables, study programming the Korg and Boss. Attempt to get a good sound out of the Schecter bass. Build a playlist of the 20 cheeziest “alternative” pop hits as my inspiration (I ordered Tubthumping for a cent online). List ideas for songs, and develop lyrics. Spend an hour adding people on my MySpace page.
Week 2: Write the songs according to patterns found in The Manual. Lyrics and melodies should be done by end of the week. Start programming.
Week 3: Finish programming and start recording.
Week 4: Complete recording, master and mail the disk. Make a video of one of the songs.
Current status: yesterday I read a few chapters of The Manual. As I am not on the dole, following the plan to the letter might be a challenge — skipping to the bit about writing the songs. Not getting any interesting sounds by running the bass through the Boss, so I will default to the Bass Pod. Today (2/2) is a waste: I need to pay bills, clean the apartment, do the laundry, buy more beer and snacks, go to the roller derby and Supersuckers show tonight (not my idea).
I’m looking forward to the Kimbo Slice / Tank Abbott fight in February (on Showtime — you look it up). Kimbo’s trainer is Bas Rutten, and this is Bas Rutten:
I’m glad he wasn’t a bouncer in New Brunswick, because I would have been in trouble.
How many five year olds could you take in a fight? Apparently I can take 27. I call bullshit on that. I say I can take 100’s. When I was in the 4th grade, my friend Dave and I would beat up the entire 3rd and 2nd grade.
Hey! Happy Thanksgiving to all you United States Americans!
Last time I drank Wild Turkey around the Thanksgiving holiday I ended up in jail. Jail, I can assure you, is not boring, but it is miserable and humiliating.
So, have an exciting time this holiday, but not at the potential expense and misery of yourself and others. Never drink and drive.
BTW, you can mitigate any potential boring situations tomorrow by following this handy list:
Have your notebook computer handy with plenty of games and DVDs to amuse yourself with. Substitute notebook with PSP, Game Boy, iPhone, etc., if you have one. Always remember to bring your power cord, controller, blank CDRs, and anything else you might need.
Give a hoot: read a book.
Drive to your destination solo, so you can escape whenever you need to.
Hide all those boring board (bored) games and card games.
Take full advantage of the turkey Tryptophan myth, and take a long, socially acceptable nap. Remember: napping is a form of time travel, that can get you through the most boring situations.
Offer to walk the dog (remember: at night your don’t have to clean up the poop).
Smoke?
I’m out of ideas for now — off to do something fun.
