The Stuff

Dan Akroyd is one funny Dan, whether intentional or not — he just does stuff that’s funny. Now he’s selling Crystal Head Vodka: an a accurate glass rendering of a human skull filled with delicious vodka. For real! I ordered mine online for around $40. I had to have one. I like skulls and vodka.

I bet it’s better than the Bass O Matic I bought a few years back:

Here comes the new “meme” (pronounced mEEm): take a music video from the 80s, overdub a version of the song with lyrics that describe what’s happening in the video, add subtitles. Funny. Enjoy.

Head over Heals:

Take on Me:

4 reasons why copy editors are so important:

Okay — I’ve stooped to “wacky emails” with this one, but they are funny.

This guy wants to do karate with his little warrior. Golly.

Okay. I love bacon. That is no secret. Do I love bacon enough to wear a bacon costume? No. But this guy does. Bless his savory, pig muscle encased heart. Video.

Meat cosplay.

The original video those dirty apartment photos came from.

I’ve been in dirty apartments, but nothing this dirty.

Fans of the Ali G show will remember Sasha Baron Cohen’s Bruno character. Bruno was a fashion model and commentator. Not my favorite character, but they’re making a Bruno movie now, so Sasha is showing up random places as Bruno, presumably to get footage for the film. Here’s his latest stunt.

Tonight, I was drinking bloody Marys and watching the Shark Week shows I had on my DVR, and they were talking about how sharks could smell 1 part blood in 1,000,000 parts of water. So I started to think: just how extraordinary is that really? Then I thought about farts, and how accurate a humans’ smell was. First I had to figure out how big a fart was. I found this site (http://www.heptune.com/farts.html) that says humans produce a half a liter of flatus a day, and on average humans fart 14 times a day. That means the average fart has a volume of 2.2 cubic inches (had to do some math — well really, this web page did the math http://www.onlineconversion.com/). I’ve smelled farts that creeped up stair cases, and across gymnasiums, but to be fair, we’ve all smelled farts from across school classrooms, so to detect the human’s ability to detect farts, I needed to determine the volume of a classroom. Figure that the classic high-school classroom is 9′x20′x20′ — that’s 3600 cubic feet, or 6,220,800 cubic inches. To be fair, lets say humans and desks take up 1/3 of the room, and that the volume of room available to fart expansion is 4,000,000 cubic inches. If we divide 2.2 cubic inches of fart by 4,000,000, we find that the human can detect 1 part of fart in 1.8 million parts of air. That’s better than the shark’s ability to sense blood in water.

Granted my math, science, and logic might be off — but my excuse is that I’m drunk. Booya!

I was bored, and when I’m bored I spend money on things that I think might distract me from my slow crawl to the grave. So I bought Metal Gear Solid 4 for the PS3… and inside of 30 minutes I realized that I should have spent my money elsewhere. $60… that’s a lot of drinks, a nice meal, Japanese snacks, a tank of gas (and a road trip). Anyway, had I listened to Yahtzee Croshaw first, I would have saved $60 or spent it in one of the aforementioned ways. Always wait for Yahtzee’s review before buying a game.

Yahtzee’s review of Metal Gear Solid 4.

This video should explain the previous post:

Be sure to watch That Mitchell and Webb Look on BBC or BBC America, don’t fast forward through the commercials, patronize all their advertisers, and then buy their DVDs. Normally I would offer a link to Amazon to where you can buy their DVDs, but never in the 12 years I’ve posted such links has anyone ever purchased an item.