The Stuff

Feed the Pig (as in “feed your piggy bank” not “feed yourself delicious Hot Pockets and gooey fudge”) is a useful website that gives you advice on saving money and reducing debt: two areas most Americans need advice on. Check it out!

And by the way, these are my tips for saving money:

1. Attach a sail to your Lincoln Navigator to save on fuel costs
2. 7 DVD players are really too much for one mini-van: 4 is more than enough
3. If you eat 5 Snickers bars and a Cola ($6.00) instead of going out for lunch ($10.00+) every day, just think of all the money you’ll save by the end of the year
4. 26 new Alienware PCs is more than enough for a Beowulf cluster — no need to finance number 27, no matter how cool the red neon appointments are
5. In the 80s coffee cost 10 cents, now it costs $4.50. Limit your consumption to 5 cups a day. (Originally I was going to say “Save money by not tipping” but people who make minimum wage are usually humorless and violent and I didn’t want my home to be firebombed)
6. A good prostitute costs any where from $200 and up. Why not date someone and get the sex for the price of a monthly trip to the Olive Garden?