The Stuff

Okay — who wants to upload this to YouTube (please)? Don’t make me come to England!

CHARLIE BROOKER’S SCREENWIPE - CHRISTMAS SPECIAL

Wednesday 19 December 2007 10.35pm-11.05am; rpt 2.20am-2.50am
rpt Friday 21 December 11.45pm-12.15am

JOY! Someone posted them!

Charlie Brooker’s Screenwipe - Christmas Special 2007 (1of3)

Charlie Brooker’s Screenwipe - Christmas Special 2007 (2of3). The bit about soap operas is boring (for me at least).

Charlie Brooker’s Screenwipe - Christmas Special 2007 (3of3).

12) The Krampus visits the Venture Brothers (YouTube). The Krampus is a demon like creature that once traveled with Santa Claus doling out punishments to naughty children. He needs to make a comeback.

From WikiPedia:

The word Krampus originates from the Old High German word for claw (Krampen). In the Alpine region the Krampus is represented by an incubus in company of St Nicholas. Traditionally, young men dress up as the Krampus in the first two weeks of December and particularly in the evening of December 5 and roam the streets frightening children (and adults) with rusty chains and bells. In some rural areas also slight birching especially of young females by the Krampus is part of tradition.

The present day Krampus costume consists of red wooden masks or Larve, black sheep’s skin and horns. Considerable effort goes into the manufacture of the hand-crafted masks, as many younger adults in rural communities engage competitively in the Krampus events.

11) A Krampus parade in Austria (YouTube):

10) A Krampus celebration (YouTube). Freaking awesome.

9) Yo yo yo - 1-900-909-RAPS - Santa is Gangster (YouTube). “Back in the day”, in a time before the interweb, 1-900 numbers offered children and adults alike a chance to run up $1000 phone bills by exploiting their primordial urges. Nothing says Christmas to small children like rapping, criminal Santas; what child wouldn’t be enticed by this commercial:

8) Santa’s 1-900 Number (YouTube). Here’s another one without the urban flava:

7) 1-976-SANTA?? (YouTube)

6) Home Alone in 5 Seconds (YouTube). Home Alone is one of the better Christmas-themed movies. Who doesn’t love a little slap-shtick violence in context of celebrating the birth of the “Prince of Peace”? We’ve all seen this film enough times that is isn’t as funny as it once was, but leave it to the 5 Seconds guy to make this quick and hilarious edit:

5) Raging Rudolph (YouTube). Mad TV’s parody of The Year Without a Santa Claus… and the Godfather.

4) Christmas In Hollis - Run-D.M.C. (YouTube). The first rap Christmas song? The most famous one for sure.

3) Aquateen Hunger Force Christmas (Adult Swim). The make the most of what little they have.

2) Musashi’s Xmas song (YouTube). Cats singing Christmas songs. This is to neutralize the impact of the next video.

1) Mr Hankey the Cristmas Poo! (YouTube).

Here’s a video of the Pogues classic Christmas song Fairytale of New York:

Needle point Santa Cthulhu! Wow!

inflate28, originally uploaded by baldheretic.

Nothing says “the son of God was born 2007 years ago” like 200 pounds of tacky vinyl inflated with air.

inflate25, originally uploaded by baldheretic.

Here’s Santa contributing to the melting of the ice caps (including the ice over the North Pole), by driving a car that gets 6 miles to the gallon.

inflate5, originally uploaded by baldheretic.

1) Polar Bear, 2) Snow Globe, 3) Santa. Trifecta!

I’m having second thoughts about giving up the Santa suit for the fish suit after reading the silly song list on the NYC SantaCON 2007 web site.

POLICE NABBED MY DAD
Lyrics by M. Spaff Sumsion

Police nabbed my dad
Police nabbed my dad
Police nabbed my dad
And confiscated his crystal lab

Police nabbed my dad
Police nabbed my dad
Police nabbed my dad
And confiscated his crystal lab

He’s been condemned to a scary Christmas
Stuck in the peniten-tiary Christmas
But we’ll pretend it’s a merry Christmas
Hoping Santa posts his bail!

Deck the halls with LOLly!

Yes! Actual zombie content! Nellie McKay performs “Zombie”! Thanks Dave!

Visit Nellie’s website and listen to her delightful “A Christmas Dirge” song.

Zombies and Christmas in one post!!!!!!!!

It’s Christmas time, so I’m dragging out my infamous Santa photos and adult Christmas jokes.