The Stuff

Getting ready to take down my MySpace account. One of them. I like Facebook and Twitter better, mostly because they actually work (images load, pages don’t crash etc.). So… grabbing some stuff off the account before I close it. Stuff like the Chilly Cheese Dog poem:

Chilly Chilly Cheese Dog

Walked out my door
Drove down the street
Went to the Windmill
For something to eat…

I got the chilly chilly cheese dog
Chilly cheese ya’ll
Chilly chilly cheese dog
Chilly cheese ya’ll

Not just one
I got two
That’s two for me
And none for you

I got the chilly chilly cheese dog
Chilly cheese ya’ll
Chilly chilly cheese dog
Chilly cheese ya’ll. Word!

I love Infomercials — I just do. Put one of the 10 most memorable celebrity icons of the 1980s in an infomercial and you have a feast for the eyes and the ears. Here’s Mr. T in his infomercial for the Flavorwave, which is some kind of kitchen oven thing that sits on your countertop.

At about 4 minutes and 40 seconds in Mr. T says “I love it when a plan comes together”, which was typically a George Peppard line, but who cares — we’re talking about cooking steaks in 5 minutes in a fishbowl, and that’s amazing.

And now you want one too!

OK. 99% of my friends have made the exodus to Facebook. I made the jump, and then gave up on it. I hated the quizzes. MySpace is horrible because it crashes on almost every pageload, and generally speaking, it’s a visual atrocity. Today… today MySpace was bacon themed, or really Wendy’s Baconator themed. The bacon-strip background, combined with the fact they’ve whored the site out for my favorite fast food sangwish — too sublime for words.

Basically, if I didn’t think it would kill me inside of 3 years I would eat about 20 Baconators a week.

Time to make fun of American eating habits:

New Wearable Feedbags Let Americans Eat More, Move Less

Patton Oswalt on KFC’s famous bowls (which is REAL):

Last week I was in Ohio on vacation for the Brood XIV cicada emergence (the last 17 cicada emergence until 2012). You can read about that on Cicada Mania.

On my way, I stopped at Cabela’s and snapped this shot of a bear fighting an eagle. It made me think of the Colbert Report, and America fighting Russia.

I live along the shore of New Jersey, so I was surprised to see the world’s largest horseshoe crab in the middle of Ohio (Blanchester to be specific).

Ohio has a lot of fast food restaurants — about 3 times the number that we have in New Jersey. One type of fast food Jersey does not have is chili served on spaghetti. I tried both restaurants that serve this meal: Gold Star and Skyline. While both restaurants had unusually attractive workers, I preferred Gold Star because it was spicier and less soupy. Ohio also has Circle K convenience stores, which is cool to see if you’re a fan of Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure.

Actually I don’t got your Batter Blaster… at least not this Batter Blaster. Organic Batter Blaster, an actual product, is pancake & waffle mix in a can. No more fuss with messy mixes and sticky eggs! And mixing bowl clean-up? It’s a thing of the past.

If someone wants to ship me a case…